


Glasgow Kiss

by galerian_ash



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Banter, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Lee is NOT bald, M/M, Protectiveness, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-24
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-03-02 10:57:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2809790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galerian_ash/pseuds/galerian_ash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a mission backfires, Barney brings Lee home with him to recuperate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glasgow Kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fullmoon02](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmoon02/gifts).



The realization came too late. One second Lee was taking out the terrorist ringleader with a perfect headshot, and the next he saw the metallic box clutched in the bastard's hand.

"Down," he yelled as he watched it slip from lifeless fingers, releasing the dead man's switch. Then all hell broke loose.

They were lucky. It could just as well have been one big bomb, instead of the multitude of smaller ones that went off. Still, his ears were ringing, and there was fire _everywhere_ — had the guy doused the fucking walls in gasoline or something?

"Lee, come on!" Barney shouted, grabbing his collar and yanking him towards the exit. "Go, go!"

No need to tell him twice. He ran, stumbling over the rubble a couple of times, hardly able to see thanks to all the smoke.

It was a relief to finally get outside, wonderfully cool air hitting his face and making him cough even harder than before.

He turned around to Barney, only to find that he wasn't there. He'd been right behind Lee the whole way, he was sure of it — but now he was suddenly gone.

"Barney!" Yelling felt like trying to move a bunch of glass shards up his throat, but he kept going. "Barney! Hey, did you guys see him?"

"No," Galgo said, gasping for air. "Thought he was with you."

"He went back for the weapon schematics, I think," Caesar chipped in.

"Fuck the schematics," Lee snapped. It had been their mission to retrieve them, sure, but who the hell cared about that _now_? He took a step towards the burning building, intent on dragging Barney out of there and kicking his ass, when the upper floor caved in.

For a second he stared at it, feeling nothing but icy horror roiling through his gut. Then he broke into a dead run, ignoring the shouts of the others.

There was no living through that. He _knew_ that, yet he couldn't stop himself from running inside, grabbing hold of a collapsed beam and trying to get it out of the way. He was dimly aware of the fact that the damn thing was burning, as signaled by the pain in his hands, but that mattered little in the scope of things.

He'd managed to move it a little bit when someone grabbed him from behind. He was being pulled away, out of the building, and he blindly fought back. He was not about to leave Barney behind, dammit!

It was no use, however, and he was soon back outside, unceremoniously dropped to the ground. He looked up, prepared to tear the head off the son of a bitch who'd dragged him out — and promptly froze.

It was Barney.

He could do nothing but stare, surprise and relief and anger all battling for dominion.

"We thought you were still inside," Thorn said. "How did you get out?"

Barney turned towards him. "I was getting the schematics. Thought I could make it, but they must've used some sort of accelerant — had to go out through a window. Damn near broke my neck."

"His hands don't look so good," Gunner said at the exact same time that anger won out.

"You bastard," Lee snarled. "Goddammit, you son of a bitch!"

"Doc, get over here," Barney called. He glanced down at Lee's hands, face turning white beneath the grime and soot.

And that was _bullshit_ ; he had no right to look like that when it was _Lee_ who'd just gotten the scare of his life.

"Bastard," he repeated, and Barney's eyes flickered up.

"Lee, it's me." His voice was gentle, as if he thought Lee had lost it. Turning his head, and shouting this time, he called for Doc again. "Hurry up, I think he's going into shock!"

Before Lee had a chance to reply Doc was there, and suddenly the pain came, too.

He tried to keep track of the conversation between Barney and Doc — something about Doc only being able administer emergency care, and having to go to the hospital — but it was a bit hard to focus, when his hands looked the way they did.

Barney reached out, fingers taking hold of his chin and forcibly moving his head up, breaking his line of vision. Lee met his steady gaze. "Hey," he said, softly, "it'll be okay."

Barney was talking about his hands, of course, but when Lee forced a tight smile and nodded, he was thinking of something else. It'd be okay, because Barney was right there, in front of him. He hadn't been trapped in that burning building and left to die alone.

Beyond that, nothing else mattered quite as much.

\----

The next few hours went by in a blur, courtesy of Doc's painkillers.

They were in the plane, flying back to the states; and then they were at the hangar, splitting up; before finally ending up in Barney's old truck, driving to the hospital.

All the while, Lee felt a terrible coldness spreading through him. What if his hands were ruined? What if he could never handle a throwing knife again? Perhaps not even fire a gun? He'd be _useless_ to himself and everyone else.

Useless to Barney, too.

By the time they arrived at the hospital his head had somewhat cleared up. Enough that he could turn to Barney, giving him a nod in thanks. "You can just drop me off here," he said.

Barney frowned, almost looking a bit disappointed. "I know you say I have a black heart, but it's not _that_ black."

"No, I — I don't think that anymore. Nowadays," he added, giving Barney a teasing grin, "it's just kinda gray."

"Uh huh, thanks." Barney rolled his eyes. "Regardless of the color, I'm going with you. So let's go."

There was no use in arguing, and it wasn't like he actually _wanted_ Barney to leave. So he simply shrugged, and in they went.

Lee tried to keep focused during the examination, but once he heard the magic words — 'no permanent damage' — he allowed himself to zone out. Barney had followed him in, anyway, and he trusted him to keep track of the doctor's instructions.

Despite being more than a little preoccupied, gritting his teeth against the pain as his hands were bandaged, he picked up on something the doctor was telling Barney. "Does he have someone around to help? His hands should be used as little as possible, for the next week or so."

Lee opened his mouth to reply that he'd be fine on his own, but Barney beat him to it. "Yeah, he does."

Well, okay then. That was news to him, but he wasn't about to belabor the point. Barney was probably just as eager as he was to get out of there. It was easier to just nod and agree, and it definitely made for a quicker getaway as well.

Finally, hands properly mummified, they were out of there. He breathed a sigh of relief; never could stand hospitals.

"Thanks," he said, as Barney opened the door of the truck for him.

"Don't mention it. Let's make a quick stop at your place first."

"First? What do you mean? If you're going to deliver the schematics, I'd appreciate it if you could drop me off before that. I'm seriously beat."

"No, the guys are handling that. I meant first, as in we're going to my place after."

"What the hell for?" Lee asked, starting to get annoyed.

Barney turned his head, giving him a quick look, before turning his attention back to the road. "Maybe you didn't hear the doctor, but he said you shouldn't be alone. And unless you got some new girlfriend you haven't told me about, then..." he trailed off, as if that explained everything.

"So," Lee drawled, "you're telling me you're planning on playing nursemaid?"

"I wouldn't have put it in those particular terms, but sure, if that's what you wanna call it."

"Barney, that's — that's really not necessary."

"It _is_ , actually."

He had that stone-cold determined tone to his voice, the same he'd had when breaking up the team and refusing to listen to reason. Lee knew better than to try arguing; he'd learned that the hard way when chasing after Barney outside of the bar.

"Alright, fine," he muttered. "Knock yourself out. Let's see how long it takes before you come to your senses _this_ time." It was a cheap shot, but he didn't care.

Barney didn't take the bait. "As I was saying — we'll swing by your place first, so you can pick up whatever stuff you need."

"But why are we staying at your place?" Lee complained, not about to make it easy. "What's wrong with mine?"

"Do you have a couch that doubles as a pull-out bed?"

"No, but-" he cut himself off abruptly, before the rest of the sentence could escape.

'No, but my bed is big enough for the both of us,' was what he'd almost let slip. Yeah, that would've gone over _real_ well.

"But?" Barney prompted.

"I — I don't want to sleep on your rotten couch," he blurted out. Which was true enough, come to think of it.

"I wasn't planning on making you sleep on the couch, Lee."

Oh. That meant he'd get Barney's bed, then. Well, _shit_.

On most days he could ignore it. Maybe not easily, but he was at least able to push it so deep down that he could pretend it wasn't even there in the first place. But this nightmare of a day was truly doing its best to drag it all up — kicking and screaming, sure, but up into the light nonetheless.

It was there in the way he'd panicked when believing Barney had been inside the building, and the frantic carelessness with which he'd gotten himself hurt. There in the warm glow in the pit of his belly, when Barney had matter-of-factly declared that Lee was coming home with him. And, perhaps worst of all, it was there in the contrasting emotions he felt when realizing he'd be sleeping in Barney's bed, his scent no doubt lingering on the pillow.

All of that made it hard to deny. Didn't matter that he'd technically been aware of it for a long time now; he'd refused to think about, and had fooled himself into believing that, that way, it simply didn't count.

And even now he was mentally referring to it as _that_ and _it_. He couldn't even face his own emotions when they were right in front of him, screaming themselves hoarse. He was such an idiot.

"Where are your keys?"

Barney's voice jolted him from his thoughts, almost making him jump. "Huh?"

"Your keys. Which pocket?"

They were parked outside of Lee's house, and seeing that he finally understood what Barney was getting at. "I can unlock the door myself, come on."

Barney let out a heavy sigh. Without further warning, he leaned over Lee and began going through his pockets. He just barely managed to avoid squirming, and was relieved when Barney found the keys on his second try.

Not having much choice, he followed Barney as he briskly walked up to the front door and unlocked it. He felt subdued and glum, and wanted nothing more than to be left alone. Maybe he could get drunk enough that he managed to forget about it all.

On the way to the bedroom, Barney stopped. "Didn't you have a TV there?" he said, frowning at the empty stand.

"Broke it."

"Yeah? How'd you manage that?"

"It was after you took off with the kids. I was... upset."

He expected Barney to drop it after that, but surprisingly enough he didn't. "What," he said, "you toss it through the window?"

"That would have been overreacting. No, I just threw a knife at it."

"Right," Barney drawled. Shaking his head, he moved on to the bedroom.

There was an empty duffel bag propped up against the closet. Barney picked it up and put it on the bed, before turning to the closet. "If there's anything in particular you want, tell me — otherwise I'll just go for sweatpants and such."

"Why sweatpants?" Lee asked, as he watched Barney start packing.

"No zippers. That way I won't have to help you take off your pants."

"Ah." He grimaced. Needing to do something to get that image out of his head — and it was a testament to just how utterly _fucked_ he was that he couldn't decide whether it was more awkward or arousing — he went into the bathroom. It wasn't easy to grab his toothbrush and razor, but he managed.

Barney glared at him when he dropped them into the bag. "Stop that."

"Listen, you can't do _everything_ for me. Alright?"

"I know, just — take it easy today, at least."

Lee let out a non-committal grunt. "Guess there'd be no point in asking you to pack some throwing knives, huh?"

"I won't even deign to answer that, Christmas."

"Yeah, yeah," he muttered. He was itching to test his hands, to make sure that they still functioned the way he needed them to. And it'd be good to know where he stood in case of an emergency. Although...

A smirk slowly curled his lips. "Guess you'll just have to protect me if need be."

"Don't I always?" Barney replied, deadpan.

"Hah! I'm the one who always saves your sorry arse."

"Sure, sure. I won't shatter your little delusion."

It was good to know they could still act like usual, despite his internal breakdown. Perhaps this wouldn't be such a disaster, after all.

"Okay," Barney said, zipping up the duffel bag, "all done."

Lee nodded, and led the way back out to the car. He noticed that Barney kept the keys, but didn't bother asking for them back. It wasn't as if he couldn't get into the house if he really wanted to, whether or not he had the keys, anyway.

They drove in silence for a while, before Barney spoke up. "Guess it's suddenly a good thing you don't have hair."

It was said with an easy smile, but Lee felt anger rising. "What," he ground out.

"I'm not getting in the shower with you, Christmas. And you wouldn't have been able to wash your hair by yourself — not supposed to get your hands wet, remember — so it's good you don't have any."

"I have hair," Lee said, very slowly. "I am not bald, Barney."

One of those snort-laughs that Lee normally had a soft spot for erupted from Barney's mouth. Now, it just served to piss him off even more. "Right," Barney said, "of course. I forgot what a touchy subject that is for you."

"It's not a bloody touchy subject! I just think you should get your facts straight, is all. I have hair — I just _choose_ to shave it. It's a matter of efficiency; I can do my job better this way. It won't ever obscure my vision, like Gunner's bangs that he tries to tame with that stupid bandana. And if I'm up against someone who fights dirty, I can be sure that they can't grab a fistful of my hair and pull, the way they could do with Luna."

Barney didn't reply, so Lee looked over, eyes narrowing. Barney's lips were pressed tightly together, and there was a tremor in his shoulders. The bastard was trying his best not to burst into laughter, dammit.

Without thinking he struck out, punching Barney's arm. It wasn't a hard punch, it was Barney after all, but fuck, did he regret it. Pain instantly traveled through his scorched hand, searing white-hot, driving the air from his lungs and shorting out his eyesight.

"Lee! Shit, are you alright?"

Slowly, his senses returned, vying for control of his body against the pain. Barney had pulled the truck over to the side of the road, and was sitting leaned over him. His hands were lifted in an abortive movement, as if he'd been afraid to touch Lee and possibly inflict even more pain.

There was nothing but worry in his brown eyes.

"Yeah," Lee whispered, voice cracking in a way that had nothing to do with the pain in his hands.

Barney let out a heavy exhale, sinking back into his seat. "Damn," he muttered, "I didn't realize you were hurting that bad. You didn't let on at all."

"I'm fine. Really, I am. Just... tired. Can we go home now, please?"

In his peripheral vision he saw Barney stiffening, but he was too groggy and out of it to even attempt trying to figure out why.

Barney started the car after a few more seconds, and Lee tipped his head back against the headrest, closing his eyes.

\----

Someone was touching him, moving his limbs. Instinct told him to lash out, to take down the bastard who had managed to get the drop on him before he, himself, was permanently taken down. But the arm coming to rest around his shoulders was gentle, and felt oddly familiar. Nothing about the touch was threatening, and so Lee merely slid his eyes open.

Barney was there, right in his personal space, trying — it seemed — to get a good grip on him. "What are you doing?" he asked, a bit surprised at how hoarse and tired his voice came out.

Barney stiffened and pulled back, almost guiltily. "Sorry, didn't mean to wake you."

Lee looked around. They were parked in front of Barney's place. "Wait... were you going to _carry_ me inside?"

"So what if I were," Barney replied testily. "I know firsthand what a relief it can be to drop off to sleep when you're in pain."

"Oh. That was sweet of you," Lee said. He realized his mistake when he saw the look of surprise on Barney's face, and silently swore. He wasn't supposed to _say_ things like that, dammit. "You're actually acting like a decent human being," he added, trying to salvage the situation. "Had I known this was all it took..."

"Funny, Christmas. Real funny."

Barney moved away, leaving Lee to get out of the car on his own. But despite his display of annoyance, he stayed close, sticking to Lee's side like a shadow.

That reassuring presence was rather welcome, though Lee would never admit it. He was so tired he could hardly see straight; putting one foot in front of the other was pretty much all the effort he could muster. Felt good to know that Barney was there to steer him right and steady him if he faltered.

Lee walked by the couch without a second glance. They could fix a schedule later, something with them taking turns sleeping there, but not _now_. He was in no mood to play gentleman tonight.

"Sit down on the bed," Barney instructed. "I'll take off your shoes for you."

Lee silently watched as Barney kneeled down in front of him and began unlacing his boots. It was an unusual view, and he found himself vaguely appreciating it.

"Can you manage the rest yourself?" Barney raised his head, frowning. "Think we'll skip the sleeping pills you got."

"Mm." Lee glanced down at himself. He'd ditched his gear before going to the hospital, so all he had on were pants and a t-shirt. He could sleep in that no problem. "This is fine. Thanks."

"Alright." Barney got to his feet, and seemed to hesitate. "I'll stay up for a while longer, if you need anything. But I'll hear you when I'm asleep too, so just — just call."

The urge to ask Barney to stay was right there, on the tip of his tongue. It was a foolish and dangerous urge, one he tried to quell by simply letting himself fall back on the bed and squeezing his eyes shut.

He could almost _feel_ Barney staring at him. After a while there was a quiet rustle, and then the blankets were pulled up over him.

"Night." The whisper was barely audible, as if Barney thought him asleep already. Lee didn't answer. He couldn't.

He'd been right. The bed _did_ smell like Barney.

\----

"Good morning, sleepyhead."

Lee grimaced. "Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. Isn't it a known fact that the elderly wake up earlier?"

"Always such a charmer." Barney set down the Kimber he'd been cleaning and got to his feet. "Do you want something to eat, or...?"

"Not right this second. I could really use a shower — should've taken one last night. Got your bed dirty, sorry."

"I'll change the bedding in a sec," Barney mumbled, as he made a beeline for the kitchen. He returned with a couple of plastic bags and a roll of tape.

"Uh," Lee began.

"Come on, hold out your hands."

Oh, right. He wasn't supposed to get them wet. At least not until it was time to change the bandaging, and shit, he really wasn't looking forward to that. Sighing, he extended his hands.

Barney was infinitely gentle, which would've been amusing — considering his usual lack of finesse — if the soft touch hadn't felt so nice. It _shouldn't_ , considering the throbbing ache in his hands, and the way that pain radiated all the way up his arms. Still, every time Barney's fingers touched his skin...

It wasn't as if this was the first time they patched each other up. Things had just been brought to a head after yesterday's impromptu bout of soul-searching, something that wasn't exactly helped by Barney standing so damned close to him. All Lee would have to do was bend his head, just a little, and-

"How's that? Too tight?"

"Nn? Ah, no, that's... that's perfect." He shook his head, trying to clear it.

Barney stepped back. "Right. So, what do you want for breakfast? I got some cereal and-"

"What," Lee interrupted him, "you aren't gonna cook for me?"

"In case it escaped your notice, that isn't exactly my area of expertise."

"For shame." Lee gave him a teasing grin as he headed for the bathroom. "And here I thought you could do anything."

\----

The omelet waiting for him when he got out of the shower was a bit on the rubbery side, but it was still one of the best meals Lee had ever had.

\----

All things considered, Lee was really the one who acted like an old man. The pills he had to take made him sleepy as hell, and he found himself taking several naps throughout the day.

To his surprise, Barney stuck around. He was bound to have important things to deal with after yesterday's mission, yet every time Lee opened his eyes he found Barney, just sitting around, cleaning some gun.

Barney took very good care of his weapons, so for him to suddenly have that many in need of cleaning — honestly, it was a bit on the obvious side. And all the sweeter for it.

"You don't have to watch over me, you know," he said. Because if he had a good thing going it naturally made sense to try and wreck it. He really hated himself sometimes. "You probably need to go and make sure the schematics got delivered okay."

"They did. The guys called earlier; wanted to know how you were doing. Gunner suggested we should go out drinking, but I said no. Being him, he then offered to bring the booze _here_."

Lee chuckled. "How generous of him. But yeah, good call. I'm not very good company right now."

"You're not so bad," Barney said, shrugging.

"Sure you don't mind? I really would be fine on my own."

"Trying to get rid of me, Christmas?"

"You know I'm not. It's just got to be boring for you."

"Yeah, well, I'm telling you it's fine." Barney stood up, stretching his arms above his head. The motion lifted his shirt and gave Lee a glimpse of his stomach. Which was nothing compared to state of undress he'd seen Barney in before, but — probably due to the domestic setting — this was completely different. Felt a million times more intimate, and that really wasn't something he needed right now.

"Look," he said, almost angrily, "about the sleeping arrangements. I'm taking the couch tonight. Hell, I'll take it from now on. It's your bed, you should sleep in it."

Barney raised an eyebrow, either in response to his tone or the words themselves. "No."

"What?"

"No, I said. Forget it. It's not up for discussion."

"You wanna bet?"

"I am not going to take the bed," Barney said, carefully enunciating each word. "If you want the couch, then I'll just have to sleep on the floor."

"Oh, for fuck's sake...!"

Knowing he'd won, Barney smirked. It was absolutely infuriating, as was the overwhelming urge to kiss that smug look right off his face. "I just didn't want you to throw out your back," Lee grumbled, going for familiar banter to hopefully get his mind on the right track.

"I can always count on you to say the nicest things."

"Somebody has to. Wouldn't want you to get your feelings hurt."

Barney's smile softened. "I'm glad it's you, then."

\----

Sleep proved elusive.

Last night had been easy, thanks to him being pretty much dead on his feet, but now was another story. His head was filled with crap he'd rather not think about, and he was getting increasingly restless.

At home, he could've taken out his frustrations with his throwing knives and work himself tired with his boxing bag, but here? He'd have to settle for getting up and drinking some water.

Giving the clean — scent-free — pillow a disgusted sneer, he got up.

Barney would wake up no matter how silent he tried to be; that was just a byproduct of their profession. It had been one of the many little things that had ultimately spelled doom for his and Lacy's relationship. It'd been fine back when he came and went, never staying the night. But later, trying to build something different, it just hadn't worked. She couldn't take sleeping next to someone on a hair-trigger, someone who had a knife in his hands the second after she'd so much as made a peep.

Lee couldn't blame her.

So, despite knowing Barney was awake, he walked past the couch without a word. He was half hoping Barney would just let it be, but no, he joined Lee in the kitchen before he'd even taken a mouthful of water. He drank straight from the tap, foregoing the mess of trying to grip a glass with his clumsy fingers.

"You okay?" Barney asked, voice quiet.

"Yeah," Lee replied, using his forearm to wipe away some stray water droplets. "Just couldn't sleep."

Barney leaned against the counter, close enough that Lee could feel the heat radiating from his body. They stood in companionable silence for a while, before Barney spoke again. "Why did you go back inside?"

There was no need to ask what he was talking about, Lee had been expecting — and somewhat dreading — the question all day. "Thought you were still in there," he said, simply.

"Even if I had been, you shouldn't have done that." There was a slight tremble in Barney's voice, as if he was just barely keeping himself from yelling.

"I don't think you have any right to say that," Lee bit back, letting some of his own anger seep into his words. " _You_ went in after _me_ , remember? Besides, none of this would've happened if you'd just left those damn schematics behind."

"You think I don't know that?" Barney snapped, and Lee realized his mistake. It wasn't anger making Barney's voice unsteady, but guilt.

"Barney..."

"You got hurt because of me."

"Hey, come on, that's not true."

"Like hell it isn't," Barney muttered. He sounded two seconds away from pulling another idiotic stunt, only this time it was probably just Lee he was going to boot from the team.

Rolling his eyes at the thought, Lee moved closer to bump their shoulders together. "You were the reason I ran back inside, but I got myself hurt all on my own. If anything, we're both to blame."

It took a while, but the tenseness in Barney finally started to give way. "So you're saying we're both idiots."

"Well," Lee drawled, grinning, "one of us might be a bigger idiot than the other. But I'm not naming names."

Barney let out a low laugh, body fully relaxing as he leaned into the contact.

It would've been the perfect moment for a first kiss, had Lee been willing to irrevocably screw up their friendship. As much as it almost physically _hurt_ to do so, he forced himself to step away. "How about we try getting some sleep before dawn?" he said.

And if there was a glimmer of disappointment on Barney's face, it was no doubt nothing but wishful thinking on Lee's part.

\----

"Where are you going with that thing?"

Lee stopped, looking over at Barney and frowning. "I need to shave."

"You've gotta be kidding me — you're liable to slit your damn throat if you try doing that yourself!"

"Don't be stupid."

Barney walked over and snatched the razor from Lee's lax grip. "A _straight razor_ , Christmas? Seriously? Just borrow my trimmer."

"No thanks," Lee said, grimacing.

Barney raised his hands in the air, clearly frustrated. "But of course you abhor the idea of an electrical shaver, of course. I should've known, considering your obvious thing for knives in general."

"Yes, just like _your_ thing for skulls."

"You think that's comparable?" Barney said, raising his eyebrows.

"Hm, actually, no. Knives are useful, while your little skulls are... _well_. Decorative? In a rather sad, juvenile way."

"Oh, just sit your ass down," Barney grumbled. He stalked off to the bathroom, and — judging by the subsequent noise — began rummaging through the cabinet.

He returned with a towel and a can of shaving cream. Lee was about to open his mouth to protest, but Barney silenced him with one look. "Sit," he repeated, pointing to the table.

Lee decided to go with it. Barney would never offer this again, and he was nothing if not a masochist. He got onto the table, instantly regretting his decision when Barney stepped right in, nudging his legs apart to stand between them.

"I haven't done this in ages," Barney mumbled. "Gotta have a good view of what I'm doing."

"Alright," Lee forced out.

"I don't have a brush or any of that fancy stuff," he continued, as he squeezed out a glob of shaving cream into his hand and began lathering it up. "Sorry, but you'll have to make do."

That was all the warning he got, and then Barney's hands were on his face. Lee forced himself to remain utterly still, not even daring to breathe.

"Even though you're into sharp blades and all, I'm surprised you use a straight razor. You've always got the stubble look going, so I figured you used a trimmer."

"No," Lee answered, relieved when Barney finally withdrew his hands and wiped them off on the towel. "Single pass, with the grain — doesn't produce a close shave. The blade is fairly blunt, too."

"Ah, got it." He held up the razor, a look of absolute focus on his face. And it was all directed at Lee. "Ready?"

Lee was ready for quite a few things at that point. He gave Barney a quick nod before closing his eyes. Maybe it'd be easier if he couldn't see anything.

It wasn't.

The hand guiding the slow scrape of the razor was utterly steady. Barney's other hand was splayed against Lee's throat, angling his head to get better access. Lee gave it willingly, baring his jugular without a second thought. There weren't a whole lot of people he'd trust to that extent — in fact, Barney was probably the only one.

The faith he had in Barney wasn't misplaced either, which was why he could leave himself so very vulnerable yet still feel utterly safe.

It was torturous, yes, but the moment was still over much too fast. Barney wiped off the excess shaving cream as Lee contemplated the notion of closing his legs and trapping Barney between his thighs. Probably not the wisest of ideas, especially considering his hard-on.

"There," Barney said, "all done."

"Thanks. I — I should go clean up." It was a transparent lie, but Barney didn't seem to notice. He merely stepped back and let Lee pass, not even glancing his way.

That suited Lee perfectly. He hurriedly escaped into the bathroom, locking the door behind him before reaching for his pants. He'd planned on taking care of business and relieve some steam, but one look at his hands reminded him that no, that wasn't going to happen.

He didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

\----

"Why are we watching this?"

Lee tore his eyes from the TV to glare at Barney. "What do you mean? It's Death Wish 3!"

Barney sank further into the couch, sighing. "You should've let me keep zapping. This is just bad."

"I knew there were a lot of things wrong with you, but I didn't know it was _this_ severe. It's a classic."

"Mm, sure," Barney said, yawning.

"I thought you said you weren't tired yet? If you wanna go to sleep, I'll get off the couch and-"

"No, don't." The reply was immediate, punctuated by Barney shifting on the couch until he came to rest against Lee's side. "This is nice, real comfortable. Okay with you?"

Lee swallowed. "Yeah."

"The main character is kind of an ass, isn't he?" Barney mumbled after a while. "He has tons of weapons, yet he's making his sidekick run around with that sad zip gun."

Lee shook his head. "And here I thought you'd be a Bronson fan. I mean, he's a guy your age..."

"Sorry to disappoint. But I guess it makes sense for you to be."

"Oh? Why is that?" Lee asked, somehow knowing he wouldn't like whatever Barney was about to say.

"You probably can't help but admire him. That old, yet still has a full head of hair."

"So that's how it's going to be, huh." Lee snorted.

"Apparently. What are you gonna do about it?"

"I might not be able to punch your lights out," Lee said, raising his bandaged hand, "but I can still give you a Glasgow kiss."

"That supposed to intimidate me? It doesn't sound bad at all."

Lee laughed. "Then you don't know what it means. It's..." he trailed off, as the full ramifications of Barney's words hit him.

The world came to a screeching halt. If Barney didn't know what it meant, then he was bound to think it was a kiss of some sort. And if he wasn't bothered by the prospect of getting kissed by Lee, then — then maybe...

He was about to say or do something, but one look at Barney told him it was too late. The grin had slid off his face, and the warm affection that had been in his eyes just seconds before was now replaced by a closed-off look. He straightened up, moving away from Lee.

"Barney? Are you-"

"Don't. Please, just... _don't_. I didn't mean to let that slip. Believe me, I didn't. But for a second I got confused, we were so — ah, shit." Barney groaned, bending forward to cover his face in his hands.

"Wait," Lee began, mind still reeling.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to say anything. What we have is way too important for me to fuck up with my bullshit. It won't happen again."

"Barney, dammit, listen!" Lee was desperately trying to get a word in edgewise, but it was no use. Barney wasn't about to calm down. He got up from the couch, anguish etched in every line of his body.

"I'm gonna go for a drive. Let you think about things in peace and quiet."

"There's nothing to think about," Lee yelled, getting to his feet, more than ready to chase after Barney. _Again._

Barney just lowered his head and walked out, ignoring him. A minute later Lee heard the sound of a bike revving, and that was it. Barney had taken off.

If he'd had a knife in his hand, Barney's TV would've met the same fate as his own.

\----

Lee stayed up for a couple of hours before heading to bed. Barney wasn't about to show up anytime soon, that much was pretty clear, so he might as well stop pacing back and forth. It was better to save his energy for the shouting match that was sure to ensue when Barney did return.

It was as if they were back in time, repeating the same goddamn mistakes all over again. Barney still thought the solution to all his problems lay in leaving, heedless of anything but his own stoic, idiotic, go-it-alone mentality. And Lee? Lee was still unable to get through to him. It was as much his failure as it was Barney's.

He left the bedroom door open, hoping Barney would take it as the invitation it was.

It was close to dawn when he finally returned. Lee was still awake, but remained where he was. He wanted to let Barney call the shots, at least initially — give him a chance to start talking, instead of crowding him and pushing. It wasn't Lee's usual style, but since that hadn't been very successful so far, it was worth a try.

Barney walked up to the bedroom door, stopping to lean against the frame. He just stood there, watching Lee in silence. Wanting to nudge him in the right direction, Lee sat up. He thought Barney met his gaze, though it was hard to tell for sure in the dark, but after a moment he simply turned and walked away.

Lee stayed where he was for a few minutes, disappointment slowly turning into fuming anger. Then he got up and marched out to the couch, and without further ado mashed himself into the small space that Barney's body wasn't occupying.

Barney went rigid. "What the hell are you doing?" he hissed.

"You're incapable of taking a hint, so I'm spelling it out for you."

"What?"

"This," he said, as he moved forward to carefully headbutt Barney, "is a Glasgow kiss. It's usually a bit more painful, however. And this — this is what I've been wanting to do for a long time now."

Not giving Barney a chance to react, Lee pressed their lips together. It was a chaste contact; demanding nothing. He began to pull back, hoping his point had been made, when Barney's hand snaked around the back of his head, halting his retreat.

The kiss that Barney initiated was completely different, made rough by obvious desperation. It was as if he expected Lee to just up and vanish.

He'd wanted to take things slow, to make sure they understood each other. He should've known better — Barney had never been much of a talker. Sure, he could've easily broken the kiss, but it was even easier to let himself be swept away by it.

Apparently not just content with mapping out Lee's mouth, Barney hand trailed down his chest, settling against his stomach in a possessive gesture. It went straight to Lee's groin, and he was unable to stop a low moan from escaping.

Barney's mouth left his for a moment, kissing along his jaw and nipping at his throat. "Tell me to stop, and I will," he said, as his fingers dipped beneath the waistband of Lee's boxers. They remained there; so close, yet so far.

"Don't you dare," Lee growled.

He felt Barney's lips curve into a smile against his skin. "Understood."

His hand finally moved lower. Lee bit back a curse — it'd been too long, and he'd been way too keyed up lately. He wasn't going to last.

The realization should bother him; make him feel embarrassed, inadequate. But it didn't, not in the least. It was _Barney_ he was with, the man who knew him better than anyone else. There was no need to try to impress him with skills or gifts, no need to do anything except simply be himself.

Lee reached out, unthinkingly, to reciprocate. Barney gently moved his hand away. "Not now," he said. "Heal up first. There'll be plenty of time for that later." He seemed to regret the words as soon as he'd said them. There was a look of shy uncertainty in his eyes, as if he expected Lee to recoil at the notion of this being more than a one-time thing.

Wanting to reassure him, Lee captured his lips in a tender and slow kiss. He tried to put all those words he couldn't yet say into it.

Barney's eyes were closed when they broke apart, like he'd completely lost himself in the kiss. It made Lee smile. He'd finally gotten through to him.

He lost all ability to smile when Barney began moving his hand again, firm and intent, stroking him towards release. His hips bucked of their own volition, and now it was Barney's turn to smile.

"You, too," Lee managed to get out, panting. "Together."

A brief moment of hesitation, and then Barney was pulling down his pants. He brought their cocks together, running his thumb over Lee's slit and using the pre-come as lubricant. Seemed like he knew what he was doing, alright.

As he'd expected, he didn't last long. But neither did Barney — two more strokes, exquisite torment on Lee's already spent flesh, and then he came as well.

They lay together for a while, and he would've probably gone to sleep if it hadn't been for Barney suddenly sitting up. Lee let out a noise of protest, but Barney was thankfully not about to bolt again. He just took off his shirt and used it to wipe up the mess on both their bodies. Without looking, he carelessly tossed it over his shoulder and sank back down next to Lee.

Lee threw an arm across his waist, anchoring him in place.

"We really are both idiots."

"Mm," Barney hummed.

"Here we are, on this cramped and seriously uncomfortable couch, and all the while there's a perfectly good bed in the next room."

"Perhaps so," Barney said, as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of Lee's head, "but there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be right now."

"...Yeah, me neither."


End file.
